The Importance of Fatherhood

This week in my Family Relations class we talked about the importance the role of a father has in a child’s life. Our teacher challenged us this week to go and find a resource that talked about this importance. I went to the Pediatrics of Franklin and found a great article called “The Importance of a Father in a Child’s Life” and it gives some major points to why they are truly an important. I’m going to share with you 5 points of what I took out of this article.

1. Fathers play an important role in a child’s life can’t be replaced by others.

                Mothers and fathers are different. There’s no denying it. They play very different roles, mothers tend to play the role of the nurturer, where fathers tend to play the role of provider and protector. These are both very important roles to be played in a child’s life. I think that fathers are important to have around and be great role models for both sons and daughters.

2. Fathers have a role in a child’s emotional development.

                Children look up to their fathers in some different ways than they look up to their mothers. Fathers enforce rules and provide a sense of protection for children. In the article they said that “Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.” (Pediatrics of Franklin). Father’s are an important part of a child’s life.

3. Fathers set the bar for a child’s relationship with others.

                Our relationships with our fathers determine how we interact with other people. The article says that “The patterns a father sets in the relationships with his children will dictate how his children relate with other people.” (Pediatrics of Franklin). Father’s set the precedent of what our future relationships are like. This is a strong reason of why it’s important for fathers to be involved in their children’s lives.

4. Father’s play a large role for their daughters.

                Fathers play a different role in their daughters’ life than in their sons’ life. Daughters will look up to their dad as an example of what a relationship with a man should be like. The article said “Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like.” (Pediatrics of Franklin).  Fathers are an important role model for their daughters!

 

5. Fathers play large role for their sons.

                For sons, it’s not a role model of what they should find in a relationship, but instead it’s a role model for themselves. The article said that “Boys will seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. As human beings, we grow up by imitating the behavior of those around us; that’s how we learn to function in the world.” (Pediatrics of Franklin). I think that this shows an important reason of why fathers are important, and why they need to be a good example.

I think that it’s important to understand the importance that fathers play in a child’s life. I was lucky enough to grow up with my father around. I think that there were definite positives to that. My father is a pretty serious guy when it comes to life choices, and always wants us to know all we can and to make the best decisions. I think that this had a huge impact on my ability to make choices on my own. One of things about my father that was a negative and a positive was his work. It was great that he worked and provided for us, however, when we were growing up, we lived in California and my dad had a long commute. This made it so that we didn’t see him much. It was hard not having him around as much but was nice that he was providing for us.

Another thing I appreciated that my father, was h

is dedication in religion. My father wasn’t pushy about religion but set a good example of what we should be doing. That really helped shape me to be who I am today. I think that it is important to have faith, and to show our children that we have faith. I think that this can help children grow up with standards and know what they want out of life.

In my future family, I want my husband to play an extremely active role in our children’s lives. Currently I am engaged, I am getting married in just under 2 months. I talked to my fiancé about the role of a father. He said that it is important to be an active role model for your children, show them what they should be doing. He also said that he thinks that it is important to show your children that both parents are actively involved and love them. He said that it’s important to let your children know that you are them for them, but even more important than telling them, is showing them.

I feel so blessed to be marrying someone who is excited to have children, and truly wants to be the best husband and father that he can be! I think that it is important to make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to parenting!

Link to the article: https://www.pediatricsoffranklin.com/resources-and-education/pediatric-care/the-importance-of-a-father-in-a-childs-life/

Communication

Communication is so important in any relationship! There are three main parts to communication, they are the words, the tone, and the non-verbal cues. The words contribute to about 14% of communication, tone is about 35%, and non-verbal cues are about 51%. Communication nowadays can get complicated because a lot of people communicate through cell phones, or online. When you communicate through calling, you’re losing 51% of your communication because you lose the non-verbal cues. When you communicate through texting or online messaging, you’re losing 86% of your communication because you’re losing tone and non-verbal cues. These forms of communication are nice and convenient, but I think that it is important to keep in mind what you lose when you communicate this way. I think that if you want to keep a relationship strong that it is important to interact and communicate face to face. 

Sarcasm is a large part of people’s personalities these days. I think it is important to recognize when it is and when it is not appropriate to use. Sarcasm is a corrupt type of communication. Sarcasm is often used to be rude or funny. I think that in relationships with a significant other, it’s important to know when it will and when it won’t be offensive. I think that it becomes easy to use it as a defense mechanism, but when it is used that way, it often offends the other person. Sarcasm can be fun and light-hearted, but it’s important to recognize when you push the line.

Being able to make decisions as a couple can be difficult. It is important to learn how to do this effectively. Decision making is a big part of a relationship at any stage. In the dating stage it is more about making decisions individually. These are also going to be smaller decisions, such as what to do on a date, or what to wear. They can seem difficult sometimes, but in the big scheme of things don’t really matter that much. Making decisions in the courtship stage is bigger than making decisions in the dating stage. These decisions are more about whether or not to date seriously, or whether or not you can see marrying each other. These can be big decisions, but they aren’t as definite as some decision in the engagement or marriage stages. In the engagement stage you started to make a lot of decisions, big and small. In this stage you start to plan for your wedding, but more importantly you should be planning for your marriage. Making decisions for your wedding can be exhausting because it can feel like there is so much to do, but I think that this is a good little trial for your marriage. I think that if you get too stressed out and disagree more than you can agree or compromise, you need to learn how to communicate and make decisions as a couple better. There are also a lot of decisions to be made about how you want your marriage to work. There are a lot of questions about kids, or work, or money that can feel intimidating, and are important to talk about. In the marriage stage these are important things to continue to discuss. There are decisions that you make everyday in a marriage, even if they are small. It is important to be able to communicate well, and let each other know what you expect from each other and what you can do to work effectively together.

Having a family counsel can be an important to keeping your relationships strong. These can vary in who participates in them, it could be parent’s and their children, one parent and one child, only parents, or if there are no kids, just spouses. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency of the Church meet together each week to counsel together. I think that they set a good example of how counsels should be. They have a set time each week that has been set on Thursdays. They set it this day because it is most convenient for everyone. They also have an agenda that everyone gets beforehand so that they can be prepared for what they will be discussing. They also meet in the Temple for the church to invite the Spirit as much as they can, this step can be a more difficult thing for just a family counsel. When they start their counsel, they start by greeting each other and all expressing their love and appreciation for each other, then they pray to invite the Spirit, then they discuss until there is a consensus, not a compromise, then after they have discussed all the topics on the agenda they end with a prayer and a refreshment! I think that this is a good thing to follow in our family counsels!

Stressors

Stress is a part of life, we all deal with it. Stress is something that is natural, some stress is good, but too much can be difficult to handle. It’s an important thing to learn how to do deal with stress individually, but it is also important to learn how to deal with stress in our relationships. It’s important to know what resources you have available to you, and when it’s appropriate to use some of your resources. You may have family that you can go to, but it’s not always appropriate to go to them. It’s important to assess the situation with your significant other before going to others.

When in a serious committed relationship it’s important to learn how to deal with stress together. There are many stressful things in any committed relationship. They may differ depending on what your relationship status may be, but it’s still important how to learn how to deal with that stress, especially together. In an earlier post I talked about different relationship levels, dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. There are stressors that happen in all of these stages. 

In dating there aren’t as many stressors together, because it’s not a serious relationship. Dating is when you are just going on dates, often with different people. Because of this there are more person stressors. Stress could be making a good impression on the date, or what to wear, what to talk about, what to do on the date, etc. These can be stressors that could occur on a date. This is an important time to learn how you deal with stress alone. Being self-aware, can actually help more when it comes to dealing with stress in a relationship.

In courtship there starts to be a little more stressors, especially together. You still have your individual stressors, but there just have been added stressors together. Some stressors in this stage could be learning how the two of you work together as a couple, possibly meeting each others families, deciding whether or not this is the person you want to marry, etc. Most commonly, for the man a large stressor could be finding an engagement ring and proposing. I recently helped my friend propose to my other friend, and he wanted the proposal to be a surprise. Their day got complicated and both were stressed our because of different things, but luckily in the end they worked our their stress together, and then they got engaged! It was great to see my two friends support each other, and make such a big decision together!

When your are engaged, there are a lot of stressors. I am currently engaged now, and it is very stressful. Some little stressors could be finding time for the two of you away from wedding planning, or learning how to split your time between the two families, etc. There are always little stressors, and it’s important to learn how to deal with those together, because if you can’t deal with the littler stressors it is going to be difficult to deal with the larger stressors. The biggest stressor (at least for me) has been actually planning the wedding, and planning for after the wedding. There are many factors that go into a wedding that you don’t really realize until you have to plan them. There’s flowers, and outfits, and venues, and menus, and so much more that can be intimidating to tackle. It’s important to sometimes take a step back and work together with not only each other, but your families (if possible). Planning for after the wedding is also extremely stressful, finding somewhere to live, deciding how to do finances, where to live, making a budget, etc. These are all important things that are stressful at anytime, but it can seem more stressful than normal when you also have to plan a wedding. It’s crucial to work together with your significant other at this stage, because that can set the tone of how you work together in marriage.

Divorce rates have been rising over the past several decades. I think that a contributor is that couples have not learned how to deal with stress together. It can be difficult to go from living on your own to living with someone else. It is important to work together from the beginning of your marriage and focus on what you do well together and grow where you don’t. There are many stressors of being married, finances, work, cleaning, finding time for a date, etc. These can all be difficult, but when you work together they are less so. It’s important to rely on each other in marriage, and know how to help each other. 

Disclaimer!! This blog post talks about Sexual Intimacy!

Disclaimer!! This blog post talks about Sexual Intimacy!

Sorry there are not pictures in this post, I don't think that there are many pictures appropriate to include on this topic!

This week we talked about sexual intimacy in my Family Relations class. I was interested to see where the conversation would go, because it’s a pretty private topic in a relationship. However, I feel that we were able to have a good discussion about this week in my class. We talked about some differences between men and women. We touched on the biology of it. We also talked about our views on sexual intimacy and marriage.

There are differences when it comes to the topic of sexual intimacy when comparing a man and a woman. Men tend to have sex when they want to feel safe and secure with a person, however, women are the opposite, they tend to have sex when they already feel safe and secure with a person. For men it is an external thing, and for women it is an internal thing. These are just some simple differences. I think that not only does the mentality between men and women differ on this subject, but I also think that the mentality of ever individual differs. I believe there are many things that contribute to a person’s mentality on this subject.

I will mention that I am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my views on this subject do line up with those of the Church. I believe that sexual intimacy should be between a man and a woman, after marriage. I know that this is not a very popular view within society, however, I believe that this is the way God intended it to be. In my class we also talked about how sexual relations help someone feel closer to their partner, and I believe that it’s best to feel closest with a spouse.

I believe that it is important to have boundaries, before and after marriage. I believe that setting boundaries before marriage, will help you stay where you should be before marriage, and not get you into uncomfortable situations. I also believe that there should be boundaries after marriage, some people aren’t comfortable doing certain things, and I believe that they should not be forced into doing anything they are uncomfortable with. This is why I think it’s important to have conversations with your significant other about what you are and are not comfortable doing.

Sexual intimacy is something that I believe is sacred, and that shouldn’t be something that people just go into or make fun of. I think that it should be a topic that is treated with respect. I think that one thing that has become a threat to this topic, is pornography. This is something that is getting harder to avoid, which I think is unfortunate. This is something that is disrespecting the sacredness of sexual intimacy. This should be something that is private, and that isn’t shared with the world. I think it is sad that in society pornography is something that is becoming more acceptable. It becomes an addiction and can actually ruin relationships. I think that being weary of certain movies, or websites is an important thing to do.

I know that this isn’t a topic normally discussed, and there are definitely some aspects of the topic that shouldn’t be discussed, except for with a significant other. However, I think that there are certain things about this topic that everyone should be aware of, and that people should be educated, to a certain extent, on this topic. Ultimately, I believe this to be a sacred thing, that shouldn’t be disregarded, or taken lightly.