Physical Intimacy and Fidelity in Marriage

In my marriage class this week we talked about Fidelity and Physical Intimacy in marriage. We read some personal stories from previous students as well as a talk from Sean E. Brotherson. The story from a previous student that stood out to me was about infidelity and the road that leads to that. Brotherson talked about physical intimacy and that it’s ok to have questions. I felt that both topics are important to remember when in a significant relationship such marriage or an engagement.

In my previous post on physical intimacy I said “I will mention that I am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my views on this subject do line up with those of the Church. I believe that sexual intimacy should be between a man and a woman, after marriage. I know that this is not a very popular view within society, however, I believe that this is the way God intended it to be”

Sean E. Brotherson talked about how it’s ok to have questions when it comes to physical intimacy in marriage. In my religion there are many people who view this as a taboo topic and don’t talk about it until they are about to get married or even until after they already are married. I remember having a conversation with an old roommate who was about to get married about if she was prepared or not. She told me that she has never talked about intimacy with anyone before, all she knows is what she was taught in her high school health class. I told her that if she had any questions to ask and that it is important to be educated. Intimacy is an important thing to be prepared for, it can be hard to feel confident enough to ask questions, but questions are good! Sean E. Brotherson said “What kinds of questions did I have? Here are some examples. How is your body designed to respond to sexual arousal? How do men and women differ in how they express their desires sexually? What is the best way to approach your companion if you are interested in intimacy? Is satisfaction reached the same way for both men and women? How often should a couple be together? What is appropriate or not appropriate in terms of sexual expression? And so on.” Having questions is ok, it’s normal. We should do all we can to feel comfortable and be educated on the subject of physical intimacy in marriage.

It is important to know that questions are ok to have, it is also important to know that there are people you can reach out to with your questions. Parents or parent like figures are a great resource for you to ask questions. If a member of the Church you can reach out to your church leaders, it may feel uncomfortable at first, but they are there to help you. However, I think personally the best person to reach out to about questions, especially if you are preparing to by intimate for the first time, is your doctor. They are the ones who are going to be able to help answer your questions the best. Don’t be afraid to reach out, there are people here to help you!

The story about the road that leads to infidelity talked about how going out of your way and putting deliberate effort into a relationship with someone who is of the opposite sex who is not your spouse can lead there. They said that they would go out of their way to run into this person so that they could see them and talk to them. They also said that they would compare their spouse to that person and that they found themselves wishing that they could be with that person. Instead of focusing your time and attention on someone else you should be focusing that time and attention on your spouse. When we do this, we grow closer to our spouse and can have a stronger marriage. Our relationships with others aren’t as important as our relationship with our spouse, we are supposed to be there for our spouses, those people in our lives that we still care about but aren’t our spouses, have others there to help them. Marriage is the most important relationship; we should be focusing on that relationship rather than certain other relationships.