Parenting

Parenting is something that is so important. Raising a child isn’t something that should be taken lightly. In my class this week we were asked what the purpose of parenting is. I said to raise children to be the best person they can be. I asked my mom, and she said that she thinks it’s to raise up the next generation and teach people to care for others and get out of a selfish mode plus babies come knowing nothing and parents are there to train them what to do. I asked my dad and he said to prepare children for life. I asked my fiancé the same think and he said to make sure your kids don’t end up as little jerks. To make sure that your kids are decent human beings, your kids don’t have to be perfect they just have to not be the worst. Overall, I think that their views lined up with mine, that it is essentially to raise children to be the best they can be. We hear all the time that children are the future, and the way we raise children will contribute to how that future will be.

Parenting benefits both the children and the parents. I have seen several of my friends and family go from being young and a little immature to being a great parent who is focused more on others needs than on themselves. I think that it is important to recognize the change of those who become parents and to see them focus on the needs of their children. Children have lots of needs, and it’s important as a parent to make sure that those needs are fulfilled. Some needs that children have are contact and belonging, power, protection, withdrawal, and challenge.

Children have the need for contact and belonging. When children don’t have this, they tend to start seeking physical contact from others, that can be mistaken, and that people can find inappropriate and annoying. This is why it is important to make sure that your children are getting that contact. There is an excellent article done about orphans in Romania who didn’t get the contact that they needed, it stunted their growth and their development (link to the article at the bottom). It is important for parents to offer contact freely.

Children have the need for power. This is not the kind of power that they rule over others, but the power to control their own lives. When children don’t get that opportunity to make their own choices they tend to rebel or to try and control others. It is important to make sure that your children have choices, and that they understand the consequences of their choices. This will help children to have responsibility. Being responsible for your actions is something that is important for children to learn at a young age. When you just let your children do what they want and don’t tell them what the consequences can be, when they grow up, they will have to deal with those consequences, and it can be harder for them.

Children have the need for protection. It is a parent’s job to protect their child and to make sure that their child is ok and safe. Children don’t always realize that when parents say no to something it is because they are trying to protect them, but it is still important to do so, even if your child gets upset. When a child doesn’t have protection, they can seek for revenge, which can lead to an unfulfilled life. It is important for a parent to protect and to show forgiveness so that children understand that the parent is just doing what is best for them.

Children have the need for withdrawal, they need to know that not everything is obligatory. Stepping back and taking breaks from things is ok. We see with a lot of people today that they binge a lot of technology. We hear of people binge-watching shows, or people spending hours on social media websites. It’s important to not let things like that happen. It is important for parents to teach their children to take a break when it is needed.

Children have the need for challenge in their lives. There is a thing called the Zone of Proximal Development, this is a model of how a child learns. When something is too easy a child becomes complacent. When something is too difficult the child can get upset and feel dumb, and not want to continue. When something has familiar aspects to it but is still a little difficult is when the child learns best. This is important to recognize as a parent. Sometimes a child needs to do some things on their own so that they can learn.

It is important for parents to recognize their children’s needs, and to help them to fulfill them. It is also important to note that every child is different and will need a little bit of a different approach for each child.

Link to the Romanian Orphans article: https://www.nytimes.com/1996/03/25/world/romanian-orphans-prisoners-of-their-cribs.html

The Importance of Fatherhood

This week in my Family Relations class we talked about the importance the role of a father has in a child’s life. Our teacher challenged us this week to go and find a resource that talked about this importance. I went to the Pediatrics of Franklin and found a great article called “The Importance of a Father in a Child’s Life” and it gives some major points to why they are truly an important. I’m going to share with you 5 points of what I took out of this article.

1. Fathers play an important role in a child’s life can’t be replaced by others.

                Mothers and fathers are different. There’s no denying it. They play very different roles, mothers tend to play the role of the nurturer, where fathers tend to play the role of provider and protector. These are both very important roles to be played in a child’s life. I think that fathers are important to have around and be great role models for both sons and daughters.

2. Fathers have a role in a child’s emotional development.

                Children look up to their fathers in some different ways than they look up to their mothers. Fathers enforce rules and provide a sense of protection for children. In the article they said that “Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.” (Pediatrics of Franklin). Father’s are an important part of a child’s life.

3. Fathers set the bar for a child’s relationship with others.

                Our relationships with our fathers determine how we interact with other people. The article says that “The patterns a father sets in the relationships with his children will dictate how his children relate with other people.” (Pediatrics of Franklin). Father’s set the precedent of what our future relationships are like. This is a strong reason of why it’s important for fathers to be involved in their children’s lives.

4. Father’s play a large role for their daughters.

                Fathers play a different role in their daughters’ life than in their sons’ life. Daughters will look up to their dad as an example of what a relationship with a man should be like. The article said “Young girls depend on their fathers for security and emotional support. A father shows his daughter what a good relationship with a man is like.” (Pediatrics of Franklin).  Fathers are an important role model for their daughters!

 

5. Fathers play large role for their sons.

                For sons, it’s not a role model of what they should find in a relationship, but instead it’s a role model for themselves. The article said that “Boys will seek approval from their fathers from a very young age. As human beings, we grow up by imitating the behavior of those around us; that’s how we learn to function in the world.” (Pediatrics of Franklin). I think that this shows an important reason of why fathers are important, and why they need to be a good example.

I think that it’s important to understand the importance that fathers play in a child’s life. I was lucky enough to grow up with my father around. I think that there were definite positives to that. My father is a pretty serious guy when it comes to life choices, and always wants us to know all we can and to make the best decisions. I think that this had a huge impact on my ability to make choices on my own. One of things about my father that was a negative and a positive was his work. It was great that he worked and provided for us, however, when we were growing up, we lived in California and my dad had a long commute. This made it so that we didn’t see him much. It was hard not having him around as much but was nice that he was providing for us.

Another thing I appreciated that my father, was h

is dedication in religion. My father wasn’t pushy about religion but set a good example of what we should be doing. That really helped shape me to be who I am today. I think that it is important to have faith, and to show our children that we have faith. I think that this can help children grow up with standards and know what they want out of life.

In my future family, I want my husband to play an extremely active role in our children’s lives. Currently I am engaged, I am getting married in just under 2 months. I talked to my fiancé about the role of a father. He said that it is important to be an active role model for your children, show them what they should be doing. He also said that he thinks that it is important to show your children that both parents are actively involved and love them. He said that it’s important to let your children know that you are them for them, but even more important than telling them, is showing them.

I feel so blessed to be marrying someone who is excited to have children, and truly wants to be the best husband and father that he can be! I think that it is important to make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to parenting!

Link to the article: https://www.pediatricsoffranklin.com/resources-and-education/pediatric-care/the-importance-of-a-father-in-a-childs-life/