Foundations

Foundations are so important. A foundation for a building is the lowest load-bearing part of a building. It is important to the structure of the building and if it is done poorly, the building’s integrity can fail and ruin the building. A foundation is important for relationships as well, it is the underlying basis and principles that your relationship is built on. If you have a bad foundation in your relationships, then your relationship can fall apart. The foundation is an integral to both a building and a relationship. Without the strong foundation it’s hard to live in a house, and hard to stay in the relationship.

In any romantic relationship it is important to keep your foundation strong. Continuing to go on actual dates can help that foundation to stay strong. Before you get married it is important to keep dating so that you can continually get to know that person. Many people have started to just spend all their time together without actually doing anything together. Dating can help you to continue to get to know each other better. Before you get married it’s important to learn if you can make decisions together, problem solve together, and communicate effectively with one another. These things help strengthen your relationship and help you know if you would work well together as spouses.

Last week I talked about how when “dating” you should start by going on dates with a few different people, then move on to a more committed relationship, then on to engagement, and the final step is marriage. Dating is such an important part of all of these steps, it helps build a better foundation. A date can be defined as, going somewhere with someone to know more about each other. Another definition could be when two people are getting together for a planned activity with romance between them or the possibility of romance between them. (Urban Dictionary).

It’s important to get to know someone as much as you can before you marry them. There are a lot of marital adjustments that can be difficult and when you are not prepared. Some adjustments are you’re together more than before, working around schedules (work, friends, family, etc.), combining your finances, decision making, your new living circumstances, extended families, and eventually having children. These are all things that you should discuss before you get married.

It’s important to discuss with your fiancé, when you are about to get married, about how you two plan to live together and work together as a couple. Many people don’t do this, and then have troubles blending together as a couple. When people don’t discuss these things before marriage, it can lead to a divorce. I have personally seen couples get married and divorced because they didn’t discuss having children, or their finances, or how they would split their time with extended families. These things are important to discuss and come to a realization of how you will work as a couple.

Working together isn’t an easy thing to do, people tend to have their point of view on not shift from that. I am currently engaged, and I have had discussions with my fiancé about our future, and how we plan to work together as a couple. There have been things that the both of us have had to compromise about. However, when you work together, it is better for your relationship now, and it will help you stay closer later! Preparing for the future can be so helpful, especially at the engagement stage. It can be difficult, but it is worth doing it. Ultimately working together from early on dating, and throughout the whole process will help your relationship to grow and keep it strong.