Love Map Game

In my marriage class, we are reading the book the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John M. Gottman. In his book Gottman says a “love map—my term for that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner’s life.” I found this to be an interesting concept, so I went online and found a “Love Map Game” and I did this exercise with my husband. It had two steps to it. Step 1: Write the numbers 1-20 down a column on the left-hand side of a piece of paper. Step 2: Take turns asking your partner the questions on the list. If your spouse answers correctly (you be the judge), he/she receives the number of points indicated for that question, and you receive one point. If your spouse answers incorrectly, neither of you receives any points. High score wins.

I asked my husband the questions first, and I was happy to see how much he knew about my life. He got 70 points, out of a total of 77 points. It was great hear the detailed answers my husband gave, showing me how much he cares for me. What I found to be remarkable was that when I totaled my score, I also got 70 points! I thought that it was great to see just how much my husband and I know about each other, and how much we care what is going on in the others life.

Gottman said that “From Knowledge springs not only love but the fortitude to weather marital storms. Couples who have detailed love maps of each other’s world are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict.” Being able to know what is going on in your spouse’s life can help you through stressful times, because you better understand what is happening. When you don’t know what is happening in your spouse’s life and something stressful occurs, it’s harder to understand the situation because you don’t know all that brought up the stress. Showing care of what happens in your spouse’s life, regardless of if it is a stressful time or life is important to a happy marriage!