Covenant vs. Contractual Marriage

In my marriage class this week, we were posed the following question. What things particular are you going to implement into your life to ensure that your marriage is a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage? This helped me to pause and look at my marriage and think about what things we are doing, as well as things we are not doing. This made me want to address two things in my post this week. 1. The importance of having things in place in marriage to make sure that it is a covenant marriage, and not a contractual marriage. 2. What I am actually doing, and what I could change.

1. The importance of having things in place in marriage to make sure that it is a covenant marriage, and not a contractual marriage.

Having certain habits or routines in place with your spouse is essential. Knowing what both of you are expecting out of your marriage is very important and if it is avoided it can lead to a contractual marriage. Knowing your spouse before you are married and setting those expectations can help you start to build a strong marriage. Once you are married it is important to make sure that you are talking together and are continuing the things you said you would establish together. For example; if you said that you would pray together every morning and every night, it is important to talk together regularly to ensure that you are praying together. Communication is key. Building off of these things will help you ensure you have a covenant marriage.

2. What I am actually doing, and what I could change.

My marriage is still quite new. I have only been married for 5 months, needless to say, we are still in the honeymoon phase. However, I was grateful for the time I had to ponder this question, because it helped me realize the good things we are doing. It also helped me to see where we have room for improvement. Currently my husband and I are called as primary teachers, and we do all we can to prepare our lessons, and make sure that we know our kids, and how best to help them. This is one thing that I really appreciated us doing. Another thing is that we make sure that we spend time as the two of us to make sure that we are happy and doing all that we can for each other as a spouse. However, there are many things that we could improve on. One thing for starters is that we are not very good at praying together. My husband and I have different schedules, so it’s hard to find the time to actually be together and remember to pray. Another thing is that we don’t go to the temple very often. These are important things to make sure that your marriage is a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage. Elder Hafen said “Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma called “incomprehensible joy.”” When we follow this counsel we can lead healthy happy marriages!